1. starhub over charge me AGAIN…… this time $28 more…..
2. i just did a stupid thing hopping that positive results will show…. when i already know for fact that it will never happen….. in the end, i triggered a lame reaction that only she can dish out………
3. The SAF finally decided to call me up for IPPT, i tried to reset my password, but got no news…. next thing i know, i was required to book RT something which i have not done before ever since i ORD 7 years ago…….. and then best thing is they decided to charge me for defaulting after sending me an sms saying that i must book RT within 1 month of my birthday…… but i received the letter 2 weeks before the due date…….. how is this even fair??? i mean no sound no picture for 7 years, put my status as "mindef reserve" and then all the sudden ask me do RT and then charge me early……….. this is totally fucked up.
4. my dad is as of now lying in hospital having just completed his heart vessel bypass surgery……… doctor says there are certain worries…… but his life is not in danger……… so all thats lefted to do is to wait till tomorrow and see what the doctor says after observing him……..
i mean what the fuck is wrong with my life??? fucking unfair shit starts happening everytime during my birth month…… honestly i can feel the demons of depression coming back to me again……… even my colleague Eunice who is a former depression patient saw signs in me…….. i’m starting to give my colleagues a nasty attitude that is spoilling my reputation at work…….. i began listening to songs about self agony and death again……. and thoughts of death actually crossed my mind…… here are samples of songs i listen to now……… pay attention to the lyrics and you will see that i am not bluffing or something:
1. Cross My Heart And Hope To Die – Sentenced
2. We Are But Falling Leaves – Sentenced
Guess i’ll just end off here……. got nothing else to write about other than more depressed thoughts anyway…………hope my dad pulls through ok…….
i’ve run out of all hope for myself…….. i guess i am gonna just like what Mr Chew predicted……. have a life threatening encounter sometime soon, and die a young age……… i wouldn’t mind honestly…….. cos carry on living will only cause more pain and disappointment…….. both for myself and for others……… since i was already born full of defects in the 1st place……….. shows that i shouldn’t have even been born……….. someone like me having lived 28 years is already a steal…………… hope my eventual demise comes swiftly…….. i don’t want to be a burden to anyone……………
